I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
