Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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