i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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