Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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