whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
