it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
