I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
