I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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