Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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