Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
