i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
