I got chris browned last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
how does that bad decision feel?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
