The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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