i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
