I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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