She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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