i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
