I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
