i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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