I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
