shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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