i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
NoShamevember. You game?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
