I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
