Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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