oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am one with the molecules
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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