She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
