the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
