drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Farmville is her only friend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want to make out with him forever
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
