I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wear drunk well.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize