I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
