I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh god it's open bar.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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