I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
