I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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