Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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