i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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