Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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