I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My vagina is officially offended.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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