So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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