Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize