...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
