@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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