He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
