You're so nebulous sometimes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize