fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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