I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
its not stalking. its research.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
