Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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