Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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