Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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