You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
