Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
