By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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