Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
