How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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