No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
