i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
