one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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