Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
